Quote of the Day (2009-04-29)

I'll have what she's having.

Source: When Harry Met Sally

Quote of the Day (2009-04-24)

Diane: Oh no. The thing I feared most has happened. Carla: What? Your Living Bra died of boredom?

Source: Cheers

Quote of the Day (2009-04-23)

Alice: Boy, you men kill me; you're all alike. You want us women to bow and scrape at your feet. You men just think that you own this world. Ralph: Yeah, but you women get revenge. You marry us!

Source: The Honeymooners

Quote of the Day (2009-04-21)

Bernard Woolley (on the phone): "Yes, we will want simultaneous translators. ... No, not when the PM meets the leaders of the English speaking nations. ... Yes, the English speaking nations can be said to include the United States. With a certain generosity of spirit."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2009-04-17)

C. K. Dexter Haven: I'm sorry, but I thought I better hit you before he did. He's in better shape than I am.

Source: The Philadelphia Story

Quote of the Day (2009-04-16)

Lisa: My family never talks about library standards. And every time I try to steer the conversation that way, they make me feel like a nerd. Comic Book Guy: We are hardly nerds. Would a nerd wear such an irreverent sweatshirt? [open his jacket to show off his shirt] Lisa: [reading the shirt] "C:/DOS C:/DOS/RUN RUN/DOS/RUN". [laughs] Lisa: Oh, only one person in a million would find that funny. Professor Frink: Yes, we call that the "Dennis Miller Ratio."

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2009-04-15)

It's only a flesh wound.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2009-04-14)

[after Milhouse moves out of town, Skinner and Willie are shocked to learn that Bart and Lisa have become best friends] Groundskeeper Willie: It won't last. Brothers and sisters are natural enemies. Like Englishmen and Scots! Or Welshmen and Scots! Or Japanese and Scots! Or Scots and other Scots! Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland! Principal Skinner: You Scots sure are a contentious people. Groundskeeper Willie: You just made an enemy for life!

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2009-04-13)

[the golf lesson] Norton: First, you address the ball... hello, ball.

Source: The Honeymooners

Quote of the Day (2009-04-10)

I had my dream again, where I'm making love and the Olympic judges are watching. I've nailed the compulsories so this is it, the finals. I got a nine eight from the Canadian, a perfect ten from the ! American, and my mother disguised as a East German judge gave me a five six. Must've been the dismount.

Source: When Harry Met Sally

Quote of the Day (2009-04-09)

"Boy, a month in Europe with Elaine. That guy's coming home in a body bag."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2009-04-08)

Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: God, I hate this part. I'm always afraid I've broken something. Michael Garabaldi: It'll be fine. I've done this before. [the computer restarts] Michael Garabaldi: Ah, Told ya. Computer [pause] Michael Garabaldi: Computer? Sparky the Computer: Hey, what do you want? Michael Garabaldi: Run diagnostics. Sparky the Computer: What, you got a broken arm or something? I got a station to run here! Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: Computer. Sparky the Computer: I know, do a diagnostic. So, maybe Level 42 doesn't get its quota of oxygen today because I'm distracted, but if it makes you happy! Michael Garabaldi: Stop! Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: Garabaldi? Michael Garabaldi: I just remembered, they tried to install Artificial Intelligence subroutines when the station went operational. They shut it down right away because it didn't work right. Must have come back on-line when the system re-booted. Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: Great! How do we shut it down? Sparky the Computer: I heard that! Are you two easily offended, or what?

Source: Babylon 5

Quote of the Day (2009-04-05)

Joey Naylor: Dad, why is the American government the best government? Nick Naylor: Because of our endless appeals system.

Source: Thank You For Smoking

Quote of the Day (2009-04-03)

Lisa Simpson: Dad, look! [holds TV up] Homer Simpson: Television! Teacher, mother... Homer Simpson: [lustily] ... secret lover. Urge to kill... fading... fading... fading - rising! Fading... fading... gone. [Family sighs] Homer Simpson: Come, family. sit in the snow with daddy and let us all bask in TV's warm glowing warming glow. [Hours later, everyone is frozen] man introducing Tony Awards: [on TV] Live, from Broadway, it's the Tony Awards, with your hosts Tyne Daly and Hal Linden! Bart Simpson: [With difficulty] Homer... change channel. Homer Simpson: Can't! frozen! [music on TV: "One chorus line of people...”] Homer Simpson: [Family screams] Homer Simpson: Urge to kill... rising...

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2009-04-01)

I've had worse.

Source: Holy Grail